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All cancer survivors know that fighting the Big C is never easy. We are like soldiers going to battle, never knowing what the outcome may be. Yet, it is essential that no matter what the future holds- whether it be life or death- we still must continue to live life to the fullest. I’d like to share this quote which I found from the LA Police Gear website to my fellow cancer survivors in the hope that they won’t lose hope in their continuing battle with the Big C:

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy course; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.” THEODORE ROOSEVELT (Paris Sorbonne,1910)

LA Police Gear is a website that sells law enforcement gear, including tactical footwear and boots and tactical apparrel, among others. Click on this link tactical holster to check out some of their latest products.

We make decisions everyday. Things as trivial as what to eat, drink or wear all have to be decided on. Of course the more serious ones like where to go for college, what career to pursue or when to settle down absolutely have to be thought over and eventually have to be resolved. Come to think of it, we have to keep on making decisions every single moment of our lives—unless, of course, we encounter situations or are placed in circumstances that are totally beyond our control. Accidents, for example, belong to that sphere far beyond the reach of any human power. They are unexpected, undesigned and often unfortunate occurrences which involve embarrassment at the least and death at the most. Sickness, too, when they come, especially when you’ve kept away from vices and have lived a generally healthy lifestyle before the diagnosis hit, also belongs to that realm that leaves one bereft of that capacity to make decisions. We hear of individuals who don’t smoke getting lung cancer and transfusion patients contracting infection from AIDS-contaminated blood. It’s completely out of their hands and most of the time, it’s unfair.

Yes, at that precise moment when these mishaps strike, we are left completely helpless and at the mercy of the whims of a very cruel fate. But once the shock has subsided, it is reassuring to know that the power to decide has not completely left us. We can and still have to deal with the aftermath. After all, once placed in such conditions, we have no other choice but to deal with it—and dealing with it usually involves a hefty lot of decision making. For instance, when I got sick, a lot of things had to be decided on: To proceed or not with the treatments, to go home or stay in Manila, to curse the high heavens and blame them about my plight or pray and psyche myself up to beat the cancer. The decisions that my family and I made were not easy ones. They were even quite painful. But what is life without pain anyway? John Patrick in his play The Teahouse of the August Moon wisely puts it thus: “Pain makes man think. Thinking makes man wise. Wisdom makes life endurable.” Every resolution that is of consequence in our lives involves pain as decision-making is by nature a tortuous, agonizing process. However, when we know that we’ve considered all the pros and cons, weighed all there is to reflect on and prayed about it unceasingly, then the decision, no matter how tough, can be made with peace of mind and heart.

It takes courage to make sound judgments. Sometimes, it’s even easier to not accept the reality of the situation, bewail our fate and simply just give up. But the men and women worth their salt make it their choice to be face life head-on. The decision to live a courageous life amid all of life’s battles can be a conscious choice. And how do we do that? Victoria Lincoln in The Arts of Living has an answer that we can ponder on:

“Courage begins when we can admit that there is no life without some pain, some frustration; that there is no tragic accident to which we are immune; and that beyond the normal exercise of prudence we can do nothing about it.

But courage goes on to see that the triumph of life is not in pains avoided, but in joys lived completely in the moment of their happening. Courage lies in never taking so much as a good meal or a day of health and fair weather for granted. It lies in learning to be aware of our moments of happiness as sharply as our moments of pain. We need not be afraid to weep when we have cause to weep, so long as we can really rejoice at every cause for rejoicing.”

 It’s so easy to thank God when you are at the top of your career, when you are happily married to a loving husband, when the pregnancy test yielded positive results and you know that in nine months you will be blessed with your first baby. When you have all the good things, praising an ever-loving God is easy. But what if you have to stop working because you got sick? What if the possibility of a miscarriage stares at you right in the face? What if you suddenly have to face the thought of leaving your loved ones behind as dying becomes a real possibility? Will you thank God then?

 I was a 26 year old happily married teacher expecting my first baby when I was diagnosed with Stage IV Thymoma—a rare form of cancer affecting the thymus gland. (Normally, the thymus gland disappears as a person grows older. In some uncommon cases, it doesn’t. It grows and becomes malignant). Though faced with a very uncertain future, I continued to trust the goodness of God. Amazingly, the blessings came pouring in. You see, when cancer came knocking into my life, it did not bring with it demise. Rather, in one of God’s miraculous paradoxes, my cancer brought with it life.
 
By the time I was diagnosed, the mass had grown so big that I had developed all sorts of cardiac complications. As a result, my heart was having difficulty pumping blood throughout my system, making my pulse rate go up and my breathing laborious. As if that wasn’t enough, the MRI Scan also showed that the cancer had metastasized to the lungs and other nearby areas. Chemotherapy or radiotherapy had to be administered soon since lying in bed had become very difficult. I had to sit on the chair in order to get some sleep. However in this position, dizzying and vomiting spells constantly plagued me. My baby was in no better condition either as there were days when I had spotting—a sign that not everything was going well inside my womb.

Under those circumstances, radiotherapy was seen as the best possible alternative since it offered the best chance of shrinking the large mass in a short amount of time, thus affording me some relief. Taking this course of action meant the risk of losing my baby.  My little angel had to receive the treatment with me with only a thin abdominal lead shield placed over my stomach to protect her. But we resigned ourselves to the stark reality of losing our firstborn. We cried our confusion, but trusted God nonetheless—hoping against hope that our little angel would make it through. And she did. Chemotherapy followed soon after. My baby and I were given six cycles every twenty-one days. Still she continued to hang on and fight the good fight with me. 

However, when a congenital anomaly scan was about six months into the pregnancy, we were in for more bad news. Fluid had filled my baby’s heart. My doctor explained that this condition could result to fetal death. Despair set in, but we continued to pray. About a month later, a follow-up ultrasound revealed that the fluid had diminished and my baby was thriving well!
 
At eight months, I delivered Maria Carmela via Caesarian section. For a premature baby weighing only 1.55 kilograms at birth, she had a lusty cry that woke me up from my anesthesia-induced sleep. My fears of a deformed baby were put to rest when the doctors held my beautiful and complete baby girl close to me. Amid the ecstatic exultations of my doctors inside the delivery room—“She has such a wonderful cry! She’s our miracle baby! Do we have a camera?”—I knew that God’s hand was again at work.

Although a month premature, Carmela was placed in the incubator at Neonatal Intensive Care Unit of the Medical City for only twelve days. Now, a healthy baby with a ready smile, Carmela is a constant reminder to us that despite all the seemingly insurmountable odds, God is there. He is only a prayer away. With all these marvelous blessings, how can I not get down on my knees and thank Him? At this eleventh hour, when Big C came to visit, I got my faith back. #       
 
   

“To have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see.”
Hebrews 11:1

My daughter is my greatest blessing. Bringing her out into the world amid all the odds was a feat that I can only attribute to God’s miraculous grace. Cancer and pregnancy don’t really go well together and undergoing both chemotherapy and radiotherapy—both mainstays in the cancer treatment program—significantly increases the risk of birth anomalies in the fetus. It could only be through God’s extraordinary blessing that our baby girl was born whole and healthy, with the Newborn Screening showing normal results. Adele Pillitteri in her book Maternal and Child Health Nursing explains: “As a rule, women can receive chemotherapy in the second and third trimesters of pregnancy without adverse fetal effects. Radiation therapy, in contrast… puts the fetus at risk throughout pregnancy if the fetus is directly exposed.”
I started receiving both treatments during the first trimester of my pregnancy. When you take that into consideration, you can understand why this case is a medical miracle. Now that I am convalescing, I know that my continued health and that of my daughter’s hinges on God’s providence alone. Human as I am however, there are times when I succumb to worries that God might not continue the miracle He started.

Yesterday was one such day. The news featured an adolescent boy with leukemia whom the news channel’s foundation was sponsoring for chemo treatments. The reporter also interviewed a physician who revealed the causes for this type of cancer. One stood out clearly in my mind: A fetus’ exposure to radiation early on in the pregnancy. My husband, who was happily playing with our child, stopped laughing and simply held our baby close. Exposure? My daughter had more than exposure! She had tons of radiation and x-rays she’s probably bionic!

Dr. O.P. Jaggi in his book Cancer: Causes, Prevention & Treatment reveals that from a scientific standpoint, studies have shown that x-rays and radioactive substances are well-recognized causes of cancer. Nineteenth century mine workers in Czechoslovakia who were exposed to radioactive substances developed lung cancer. A lot of inexperienced technicians working with x-ray machines in the past developed leukemia and skin cancers. Many Japanese who were exposed to the atomic bomb explosions likewise developed leukemia and other cancers.

Then I remember that my oncologist had given me a straightforward answer about a year ago when I asked what my daughter’s chances are of “inheriting” the illness. “If she gets it, leukemia might manifest itself in her adolescent years.” He did give the assurance that this was highly unlikely yet should it come to pass, by then medical science should already have rendered chemo obsolete and found a complete cure for the Big C.

There is nothing for us to do now but strive to give the best possible care for our precious little girl. Because we are treading a very uncertain path, we know that only God’s firm grip can see us through. We have been given a reason to pray.
When I shared this possibility with my mother, her answer was more basic: “She is God’s gift. God’s angels protected her, Mama Mary sheltered her, and Jesus blood washed away all traces of radiation that she received. God won’t allow her to get sick—now or ever.”

Such trust, such confidence. Yet such is faith. I would do well to follow her example.

Cancer is a scary word. More and more people are getting it. Since it has been a well accepted fact that the earlier the cancer is detected, the better are the chances of survival, knowing the signs and symptoms that warrant a trip to the doctor is vital. That is why cancer awareness is very important. As I celebrate each day of victorious battle against this evil, it’s about time I share the little practical knowledge I’ve gained from living with this disease. Before going any further, however, let me clarify that what I write here is not meant to be used as a substitute for proper medical advice. All that is written comes from a survivor’s personal standpoint, supplemented by readings from various books and journals.

Elaine Marieb, in her book Essentials of Human Anatomy and Physiology, writes that neoplasms or new growths “develop when controls of the cell cycle and cell division malfunction.” Malignant cancer cells “grow relentlessly and may become killers.” They also have the capability of metastasis—breaking away from the parent mass and spreading to distant parts of the body. Environmental as well as genetic and personal factors can cause cancer. Carcinogens include exposure to radiation, tobacco, certain viral infections and chemicals.

So how do we detect cancer? Sadly, most are discovered in their late stages when the symptoms have become unbearable. Because early detection means better chances of conquering the disease, it is important to heed certain signs that merit a visit to the doctor. Dr. O.P. Jaggi, in his book Cancer: Causes, Prevention and Treatment, outlines the following symptoms “which should arouse suspicion of the disease”:

1.A lump or hard area in the breast [or anywhere in the body].
2.A change in a wart or mole.
3.A persistent change in digestive and bowel habits, for example, constipation.
4.A persistent cough or hoarseness in a smoker [or even a non-smoker].
5.Bleeding per vagina at times other than the menstrual.
6.Non-injury bleeding from the surface of the skin, mouth of any other bodily orifice.
7.Any ulcer that does not get well.
8.Unexplained loss of weight.
9.Unexplained diminished or lost appetite.
10.Unexplained low-grade fever.

Now let’s say the diagnosis is in. After all the preliminary tests, the doctor says what you don’t like to hear. What do you do then? Here are some helpful tips:
1.Be calm. Keeping your cool will allow you to think and make sound decisions. Prepare yourself mentally for the tough battle ahead.
2.Ask. Be very direct with your doctor. Knowing more about your disease will give you some degree of control. Some important questions include: How long do I have to live? What are my treatment options and their possible side-effects? How much would these cost? Make sure that you choose a very good doctor and a very good hospital.
3.Keep appointments with your physician religiously. Make sure that you stick to your chemotherapy or radiotherapy schedule. Do not easily be swayed by alternative cancer medicines. Should you decide on taking them, make sure that they have scientific bases.
4.All family members, relatives and friends must understand the situation. Cancer cannot be won without the necessary family support.
5.Pray. No matter the advances in medical oncology, all cancer patients still need a miracle. Battling the Big C is not all medical. It is as much a spiritual battle as anything else. I believe that one’s ultimate weapon is prayer.